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Staying connected and supportively involved with your teenager is a challenge for many parents. As your child goes through the transition from childhood to adulthood your relationship with them will change. Up until this point you have been the one who makes all the decisions for them, then the teenage years arrive and you go from knowing everything to knowing nothing. Many parents find this stage in their child's development stressful and at times worrying. You want them to grow up and become responsible and independent, but at the same time you want to protect them.

It is normal for teenagers to want to spend more time with their friends and to behave as if they are embarrassed by their parents, especially when in public places. As children reach puberty they will often experience mood swings and change their taste in music, clothes, food and friends. They will also start to develop their own set of values and beliefs and maybe question or reject their parent's opinions. Communication shutdown, one-word answers and grunts are also common during adolescence. Many teens cope with all the changes they are going through by using withdrawn behaviour, for example, always being away from home, or when at home staying in their room.

When you feel your teenager is being disrespectful, challenging, uncooperative or abusive it can be difficult to stop things from escalating into a full-blown row. Feeling provoked and annoyed, many parents resort to coaxing, retaliating with threats or feeling overwhelmed and giving in. When things start to get heated try your best to remain calm. The next time you feel things are spiralling out of control press the pause button and ask yourself the following questions. How do I want to feel when this situation is over? How do I want my teenager to feel? What's important to me, winning the battle or my relationship with my child? What will happen if things continue to escalate? Is what I am doing working for me? How else can I manage this situation?

Teenagers like to know what their boundaries are and it is helpful to have clear house rules that everyone understands and agrees with. If you have clear rules already, does your teenager know what the consequences are for breaking them? Try to discuss the house rules and consequences when you are calm, as in the heat of the moment the punishment might not always fit the crime.

Getting teenagers to talk openly about how they are feeling can be hard. You may need to set aside time to get to know your developing teenager, what is important to them, what pressures are they facing, and how they are feeling? Building two-way communication enables you and your teenager to talk about tough issues and possible solutions. Offer your child reassurance that you only want to help them because you love them and want the best for them.

The important thing to remember is that your son or daughter is no longer a child, but is still learning how to be an adult. This means that mood and behaviour will be changeable and they will behave in an adult-like way sometimes and child-like at other times.

The key thing to remember is that this is all part of your child learning how to become a responsible adult who is capable of looking after them self.

If you would like to discuss a concern that you may have contact the Parents Helpline Freephone on 0808 801 0722.

For further information on the range of services which Parents Advice Centre offers, including Parenting UR Teen courses log onto: www.parentsadvicecentre.org